


three and a half minutes

by Sorin



Category: Code Vein (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, softness is my brand and I will continue to peddle it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:48:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29544000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorin/pseuds/Sorin
Summary: a trip into the depths goes awry, and you make a difficult choice.
Relationships: Louis/Protagonist (Code Vein)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	three and a half minutes

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm back for more :D; I can't be blamed, it's not MY fault Louis/Protag basically writes itself!
> 
> Takes place after the game ends but no spoilers in sight. This does contain violence/death but I'm not sure it's graphic enough to warrant AO3's warning- it's par for the course in the game, so nothing out of the ordinary there.
> 
> Thank you so much for dropping by- I hope you enjoy it:)

It was supposed to have been easy. Follow this map into the depths, retrieve these items, bring them back for study. All in a day’s work, you thought, and you didn’t let much concern you.

Louis had gone in with you, his insatiable curiosity driving him into the depths at every given opportunity- you joked that much more of this and you’d start calling him Davis, and he’d just grinned and said that any chance to learn was a chance that should be taken. You’d teased him, but secretly, you agreed… and you admired him for it.

You hadn’t done much thinking about how things between the two of you had started to change. If he was always with you when you went out, well, you were well used to having him as a partner and the two of you fought seamlessly together. You liked the sound of his voice no matter what he was talking about, or what he was doing- raised in combat, discussing a book, exclaiming over something or other in the depths, it didn’t matter. That just made sense, you told yourself, because he was a close friend and you valued him. You studiously avoided any other stray thoughts that crept into your mind, and any whispers of _really?_ got shoved down as quickly as they came with a grin around clenched teeth.

_Really._

The expedition had started out fine, but you’d felt off since you arrived and you hadn’t said anything about it. Paranoia, you told yourself, or maybe you just hadn’t slept well- you didn’t know. Louis was excited and you smiled fondly, listening to him tell you what you could expect to find here, and then it was down to business as usual. The two of you fell into an easy rhythm as you always did, and your blood sang at the prospect of combat. It was always good to work off nervous energy, and you liked feeling useful.

Deeper and deeper the two of you had ventured, slaying the Lost that crossed your path with minimal effort. You weren’t even close to feeling tired as you explored with him, and maybe it’s because you were bolstered by his sense of wonder at the scene in front of you- like so many of the other depths, an entire part of the city had just dropped down into it, and there were traffic lights, cars, even parts of the road and crumbled buildings that all warranted exploration and comment. He was in his element and you were happy because he was.

You hadn’t thought much about it when you heard a commotion behind you as the two of you approached a vestige left behind on the ground. The Lost often came after you in droves while you explored, looking for an easy meal, and they never found it. You didn’t expect this to be any different. The rhythm of battle was an easy one to fall into- attack, dodge, attack, block, rinse and repeat until it was done.

Something _was_ different, those alarm bells that had been going off in your head had risen to deafening levels. You looked over to see Louis fending off two giant, hulking monstrosities, and you swore as you rushed over to help- you’re sturdier than he is, wielding your greatsword like it’s nothing, and you can take the sort of beating that he can’t.

The problem was, something reached out and yanked you back and away from him. You never had the chance to help him, and you watched helplessly as they overpowered him.

You watched him fall. You watched his body disperse.

You _lost your shit._

When you’d come back to yourself you were alone in the depths, surrounded by carnage. The Lost were gone, but so was he, and you sprinted back to the mistle with all the speed you had to your name. You found him there, bloodied and broken, and you’d made a sound somewhere between a wail and a choked gasp. All you could do for him then was take him home, wait for him to wake, and wonder what your mistake had cost him.

The guilt was so overpowering that it nearly drove you from his side. The others treated you gently- they knew you felt horrible about it, and they reassured you that it wasn’t your fault, but it _was_ , it _was_ and you _knew_ it. You sat at his bedside until he woke a few days later, and his first concern had been for you- it felt like a knife in your heart to see him push himself up and ask if you were okay as soon as he woke, crimson eyes wide and worried. You’d smiled, told him you were just fine and encouraged him to keep resting… and he had, though he’d clearly not believed you. Not entirely.

You’d left his room when he fell asleep again, still needing to recuperate, and from then you’d done your best to avoid him. It would be better, you thought, if you didn’t put him in that sort of situation again- he could have _died,_ really and truly died, and the thought made you sick.

The next time a mission like that had come up you’d asked Yakumo to go with you, ignored the surprise and brief hurt that had flashed across Louis’ face, and gone to the mistle without a second thought. You told yourself firmly that this was the best way you could protect him.

The problem is, as you shuffle through the depths with an unfamiliar partner at your side, you don’t believe it… and looking back on it gives you no clarity.

“So,” Yakumo asks casually as the two of you walk down the broken street, “did you and Louis have a lovers’ quarrel or something?”

“No,” you begin, then give him an incredulous look. “Wait, a _what?_ No! It’s not like that.” You feel heat rising to your cheeks and fight it back- it _isn’t_ like that. You’re _friends._

Yakumo casts you a look. “Sure,” he agrees, “okay. Well, then, why’m I here and he’s not? Not that I’m complaining,” he adds on hastily, “I like hanging out with you too, and it’s always good to get out and fight. Keeps the blood pumping.”

You scowl behind your mask. It hides most of the expression, but not enough of it to save you from the inevitable embarrassment that’s coming your way. “I felt like a change of pace,” you grind out, but that sounds mean, and you regret it as soon as you say it. You sigh and rake a hand through your hair, irritated, then spread your hands helplessly. “What do you want me to say? He died because I wasn’t fast enough to reach him- he could have _really_ died. _Forever._ ” Saying that is enough to choke you up and you stop abruptly.

“Hey,” Yakumo says gently, walking closer and resting a gentle hand on your shoulder, “We’ve all had that happen, and sorry to break it to you, but it’s gonna happen again. Louis doesn’t have any hard feelings over it, you know?”

“I know,” you mutter. He probably should, you think glumly- it was your mistake that had gotten him hurt like that, after all.

Yakumo looks at you for a second, then sighs and shrugs, rolling the shoulder his sword rests on a couple times. “Listen,” he says, “he’s been awake longer than you have. He knows what this’s all about. He’s a big boy- he can take care of himself.”

This is hitting you all wrong, and this time your scowl bares your teeth. It’s a _really_ good thing you have your mask on. You know Yakumo is trying to help, but in this moment, tough love is not at all what you need. What you need, you think, is a Lost to beat into a pulp. “I know that,” you snap, feeling your patience wearing thing. “I know! I’m not trying to coddle him.”

“So… why am I here, then?” Yakumo asks again, his tone implying that he knows _far_ more than you wish he did- you realize then that he’s trying to wiggle something out of you that you aren’t ready to let go of… but the more heated you get, the looser your grip on it becomes.

“Because you can take more of a beating,” you say through clenched teeth, struggling with yourself. “Because I have less of a chance of looking over and seeing you backed into a corner by two Lost that are four times your size. Because I can’t breathe when I’m not by his side, because I can’t protect him, because I _failed!_ ” You’re yelling, now, and your voice has attracted company- you whirl on the Lost that’s running toward you and easily cleave it in two. “And blarglble to you, too!” you yell in its direction as it makes an unintelligible sound and disperses into nothing.

Complete silence. There it is.

You feel yourself turning bright red, and you studiously keep your back to Yakumo as you stare down the path the Lost had come at you from, and you grip your sword in absence of your secret until your knuckles turn white.

“Let’s keep moving,” you say curtly. Yakumo doesn’t say anything, but he does reach out and squeeze your shoulder again before the two of you head further into the depths.

By the time you get back to base you are absolutely filthy, covered head to toe with dirt and gore and probably no small amount of your own blood, too. It takes all you’ve got not to just toss the bag holding what you’d gone in after at Davis- you make yourself hand it over politely, and _thankfully_ all he does is raise his eyebrows at you and thank you for it. You feel eyes on you, and you hate it- you don’t want to be watched, you don’t want to be noticed. You wish you could just sink into the floor and _disappear._

Alas, the floor doesn’t swallow you up and your friends don’t stop worrying about you. It’s not your lucky day.

You manage to get through the base and into your room without having to talk to anyone, at least, and you close the door firmly behind you before taking your mask and blood veil off, then your boots, then your clothes. You’ll wash them later, you figure, tossing what you could into the laundry basket- right now your skin is crawling, and you want a shower. The water’s probably not safe to drink, but who cares? You don’t need to drink it, you need it to be cool and clean and able to wash you off, and it serves its purpose well.

Though Yakumo may have left you alone after your outburst, you can’t get away from your own mind as easily. The whole thing plays again and again in your mind- him trying to get you to admit what was _really_ bothering you, and you cracking like an egg under the pressure and blurting it out for God and everyone to hear. Luckily it had only been you and him- and the Lost, you think wryly, but they definitely don’t care. It’s good that he hadn’t come after you in the base itself… but, you think, he’s a good friend- _he_ cares even if the Lost don’t, and you should probably apologize to him for yelling at him. You’ve got a bottle of sake you’d been meaning to give him anyway, and getting drunk sounds like an excellent alternative to laying in your bed alone and replaying Louis being brutally killed over and over again. You can’t get the sound of his scream out of your mind.

You lean against the wall of the shower and gently hit your forehead against it. Maybe, you think, you could just go and leap into a pit somewhere- you’d return just fine, and maybe you’d return sans this awful memory.

Or maybe you could just go talk to Louis.

You aren’t sure which is more preferable at the moment.

Eventually you peel yourself out of the shower and dry off, then put on clean clothes and sit cross-legged on your bed. Your hair hangs damp and wavy around your face, but you don’t care enough to move it. You’re contemplating opening that bottle now and getting started when you hear a soft knock at the door, and you look up in surprise before gritting your teeth around a groan. “Who is it?” you call.

"It’s Mia,” a muffled voice says in return. “… can I come in?”

_Mia._ You don’t have the heart to yell at her and you know she’s going to play you like the piano out in the main room, but you rise and unlock the door for her anyway. She cares, you remind yourself, they _all_ care… and, well, Io isn’t here to come talk to you, and so Mia has taken that responsibility on herself.

She smiles at you when you open the door and holds up a mug of tea. “Here,” she says warmly. “I brought you this.”

You blink, then sigh inwardly and take the mug with a brief smile, letting her in and closing the door behind her. “Thanks,” you say quietly. You pause, then quickly clear a pile of clean clothes off of a chair- you’ll put it away eventually, but for now she needs a place to sit, so to the floor they go. You resume your spot on your bed and she sits down and looks at you worriedly.

“Are you okay?” she asks quietly- she knows you aren’t, but she’s giving you the opportunity to at least say you are before she tears your argument apart… gently, of course, but still.

“Not really,” you mutter, looking away briefly before taking a sip of your tea. “I mean, yeah, fine- the trip through the depths was fine, if that’s what you’re asking.”

It isn’t. You know it, she knows it. To her credit, she just smiles a little and nods. “I’m glad,” she said, “but…” she trails off, hoping you’ll fill her in.

You take another sip of your tea. It’s good, you think- and hot. It’s nice. You wonder if you liked tea before. “… I really messed up, last time. I let Louis get cornered.” The words don’t really come any easier. “Yakumo pried it out of me just a bit ago, and I yelled at him like an ass.”

Mia’s lips quirk a bit. “You’re not an ass,” she says, her voice holding a note of fond exasperation, “but I’ll take that back if you don’t go talk to Louis soon. He’s been so distracted and mopey that he asked me the exact same thing twice and didn’t even realize it.”

That’s unlike him. You close your eyes tight and lift the mug to your lips, but you don’t drink, this time- you hold it there for a second and then slowly lower it, opening them and looking at Mia with a forced smile. “You sure about me not being an ass?” you ask.

“Yes,” Mia replies, chuckling just a little, “I’m sure. Listen… you two might think you’re masters of deception, but there isn’t a single one of us here who doesn’t know how you feel about one another. You two are the only ones who don’t!”

“He isn’t interested in me,” you begin, but Mia gives you a look and you obediently shut your mouth.

"Talk to him,” she advises. “This won’t go away until you do.” She stands up and smiles. “Enjoy the tea- if you like it, I’ll make it for you again next time.” A pause, and then she reaches out and lightly rests her hand on the top of your head. “We want you to be happy… both of you. You deserve it, after all this.”

With that, she leaves you alone with the tea and a stunned look on your face.

It takes you a little bit of time to work up the gumption to leave your room. You replay her words over and over- _you two are the only ones who don’t!_ \- and you wonder if she’s right. Have you been obvious about your feelings all along, even though you’ve been doing your very best to deny them to yourself? Are there things about him you missed because you were so busy convincing yourself that he was your friend and nothing more? Probably, you think- you’re pretty dense at times, and you can admit that freely.

You wander up to the roof instead of going out to speak with anyone, deciding instead to watch the sunset from up there and figure yourself out as best you can. For the first time, you think absently, you understand what Louis meant when he’d said he found the sunset to be lonely… and you wish you had the guts to just go tell him the truth. Mia seems sure enough that he wants you, too, but you aren’t- and after your mistake, you’re not sure you’re willing to try. Getting close to you means he might get hurt again, but-

“Hi,” a quiet voice says from behind you- you jump a mile and turn to see Louis standing behind you. He looks surprised, then smiles faintly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. … mind if I join you?”

“Go ahead,” you reply, even as you inwardly shriek _no, I’m not ready, I don’t know what I’m going to say, I’m going to make a fool of myself!_ \- because to be fair, you’ve _already_ made a fool of yourself, so the rest probably doesn’t matter. He sits down next to you, leaning back against the broken spire you’ve settled yourself against… as close as he is, you can feel his warmth, and you have to resist the urge to drop your chin to your chest. You are _done_ for.

“It’s nice up here,” Louis says quietly, looking up at the sky. “I used to come up here a lot to think, before you joined us.”

You glance at him, hoping the rich light will hide the color suffusing your cheeks. “Oh?” you ask, hoping you sound casual. “What about?”

He shrugs. “All kinds of things,” he says. “I thought back to my memories of being alive, imagined what this city looked like before the Great Collapse- sometimes I’d bring a book and just read until I couldn’t really see the words clearly anymore.”

You nod, and silence falls between you. It’s awkward, and you hate it- and so you decide you may as well just go for it, since you’ve already come this far. “About the other day,” you begin, and he shakes his head a little.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs- he doesn’t look at you, still studying the sky. After a few breaths he leans against you just a little, and you feel like all the air has been sucked out of the atmosphere. Your heart hammers in your chest as you hesitantly put your arm around him, and he tucks himself against you- everything clicks into place, and everything feels _right._ “I know why you asked Yakumo to go instead.”

“Do you?” you breathe, your voice something of a light laugh- _how?_ Had you been that obvious, _really?_

Louis let his breath out in a soft, amused huff. “Yeah. He told me.”

You drop your head back against the stone behind you. “Of course he did,” you mutter. Well… you can’t really be mad at him- he wanted to help, after all, just like Mia had. She’d been discreet about it, at least, but you get the feeling that Yakumo’s version of discretion resembles a bull in a fine dining establishment.

After a couple moments of sitting together like that, just soaking one another in, Louis takes your hand and presses it to his chest. He looks at you with a small, sweet smile, and you feel your own heart skip a beat even as you feel his strong beneath your palm. “I promise, I’m okay,” he says softly. “Things didn’t really go as either of us wanted them to, but that’s happened before since we met- and I’m sure it will happen again. What I know is this: no matter what, I’m happiest when I’m by your side.”

“Louis,” you whisper. “I- I’m so sorry, I… because I wasn’t fast enough, you…!”

He lifts his hand to cup your face, then brushes the pad of his thumb against your cheekbone. “I’m sorry you had to see it,” he says quietly. “Every time I’ve seen you disperse has felt like someone ripping me in two. I can’t imagine how _you_ felt.”

You laugh weakly. “I’m not sure,” you admit. “I blacked out afterward- I saw red, and then it was just me surrounded by a lot of blood.” You take a shaky breath and turn a little, resting your forehead against his. “Next time, I’ll keep you close to me- I swear, I’ll do everything I can to keep it from happening again.”

His lips curve, and he drops his hand to rest lightly against your neck. “I’ll do the same,” he says quietly. “We’ll protect one another as best we can- that’s all we can do.”

The two of you take a moment to just look into one another’s eyes- his are beautiful, you think, such an intense shade… like garnets. You don’t know who moves first, but when his lips touch yours it feels like nothing you can describe. The kiss is soft and sweet, so hesitant- you feel his breath against your skin and you draw him a little closer just as he tightens his grip on you, and the next kiss you share is far more confident. You feel clumsy, because if you’ve done this before you’ve got no memory of it at all, but he doesn’t mind- he kisses you again, then brushes two more against the corners of your mouth. “Stay with me,” you breathe, and you don’t really pause to think it over- it feels right, and your heart sings when he smiles at you.

“I will,” he promises, and then his lips are on yours again and he’s all you can think about.

It’s hours and hours later before you feel weary enough to even contemplate sleep, wrapped up together in his bed amidst rumpled blankets and scattered pillows. Your head is pillowed on his chest and he’s stroking your hair, holding you close as the dawn begins to break beyond the soft curtains. Everything is perfect, you tell yourself, and for the first time in a long while, you believe it. You sigh a little, feeling heavy, and he whispers for you to get some sleep. You will, you reply, yawning- but this is so nice, and you want to hold onto this moment for as long as you can.

You hear him smiling when he tells you that this is the first of many… and you believe him with your whole heart.


End file.
